Chemo Day 6

Just thought I'd check in with everyone to let you know I'm feeling pretty good - downright normal - today. Today is the 6th day of chemotherapy and I've heard to expect the worst from day 2 all the way to day 10. So, I'm not sure that I'm out of the woods yet. I'm actually pretty relieved so far. My side effects have been more annoying than debilitating. The biggest factor has been fatigue (just like the doctor said). I am walking around with the energy of a sloth. I did sleep about 15 hours on Friday night and I think that helped a lot. I've also been able to nap almost every day for at least an hour. We'll see how my energy is this afternoon - by 3:00 I have been more of a watcher than a participant. Other annoying side effects have been a constant headache (sometimes better, sometimes worse, but constant) and tummy issues (but have been able to avoid the nausea meds). But by far the most annoying side effect has been a complete teenage acne flare-up. If you knew how long it took me to reconcile with my skin after high school you would realize what a mean side effect this is. I mean is there no one at the FDA with a heart? Let's see, this drug will zap all your energy, make you bald, make you feel sick, and bring back memories of Oxy 10 - approved! I know I shouldn't be complaining - it is way better than the alternative. I need to find out which drug is the acne culprit. I've read it's herceptin which will be a real bummer since that's the drug I'll be receiving for a year. Emotionally it has been stressful waiting to get sick. That on top of the other drama has set me off a couple of times in the past few days and if you've been on the receiving end I'm really sorry. Hopefully I'll continue to feel better until the next round of chemo and be back to my charming self!

1 Down... 5 to Go!

OK, you can all stop worrying about me. I survived my first chemotherapy infusion. I certainly don't expect the next 3 weeks to fly by with no side effects, but as for the infusion, it was a piece of cake. I got my own recliner right next to a window overlooking a garden, my own TV with HBO, a restaurant menu for lunch pick-up or delivery, visits & snacks from family and friends, and lots of texts and email messages. Seriously, sitting with my feet up for 4 hours was not bad at all. The port was great - no poking my arm to find a vein. I did feel the needle when my nurse first put it in the port, but that was only 3 seconds of cussing in my head. Then, I didn't feel a thing after that. The nurse first drew blood to run my labs. They would take about an hour to process, so I started with the Herceptin infusion, since it shouldn't affect my blood counts. That was 1 1/2 hours. By then my labs had come back looking good, so it was time for the hard core drugs. There was a 15 minute infusion of an anti-nausea drug (Aloxi) and then 1 hour of Taxotere (this is the drug that will make my hair fall out). If I was going to have an allergic reaction to a drug, it would have been this one, so it was given slowly at first, and then a bit faster once it was clear that I could tolerate it. Next was another anti-nausea/steroid (Decadron) - which I have been taking at home & keeps me up half the night, so if any of my night owl friends want to chat, this is the week to call. Finally I finished up with another hour infusion of Carboplatin. So, 5 drugs in about 4 hours. Then the port was flushed, the needle removed, and I was sent home with a blue Snoopy bandaid.

The infusion center was pretty cool. The IV was on wheels so if I wanted to roam around or visit the bathroom I was free to do that without disrupting the medication. Once I was in my chair with my pillow and blanket, I was set, so the roaming report will need to wait to the next infusion. Mom stayed with me the whole time and picked up lunch from the hospital restaurant and picked up my anti-nausea medications (3 different kinds, just in case) from the pharmacy. A friend came to visit with smoothies for the last hour for an extra special treat - thanks K!

Before the chemotherapy, I had a quick visit with my oncologist. He tried again to convince me to cut my hair. I tried again to convince him that if I am the one person whose hair is resistant to Taxitone that medical researchers will be thanking me for have extra hair to donate for studies. I also tried again to convince him that alcohol and chemo do mix, especially during the Chargers season. He made what I think was a sarcastic comment about how much I could drink during the playoffs on the Chargers road to the super bowl (my chemo ends in October). How did I end up with the booze-banning doctor with no love for my Bolts? He actually recommended O'Douls as an alternative to my tailgate margaritas! Outrageous!

For now, I'm planning to go on with each day and see what happens. So many of you have offered to help with the kids if I'm not feeling well, that I feel totally prepared for anything. My next infusion is in 3 weeks on July 14. Before then I see my surgeon who's going to pump up the expander so my foob will be even more spectacular! Thank you for all your good wishes and messages today - it made my day go by much faster.

Port is In

I'm hurting a bit today. It's the last day of school though, so I'm sucking it up with the help of my extra strength tylenol. I had my surgery to get the chemo port inserted yesterday. It was way different that the first surgery. I was calm and relaxed and joking with the nurses and doctors. Before I went to the hospital I put on my favorite bathing suit top and outlined it with a pen so the doctor knew his parameters for placing the port. He thought that was so ingenious that he showed everyone in the operating room and said he was going to advise all of his patients to do the same thing. It just seemed like the logical thing to do - if I don't tell him where I want it how would he know? Once I was in the operating room, I was completely covered from head to toe with a big blue plastic sheet. There was a little window on the right side that I could look out. Whenever one of the nurses wanted to talk with me they would pop their head through the window. I was given drugs through the IV and didn't feel a thing even though I was awake the entire time. The doctor made an incision on the left side of my neck through which he inserted a catheter which connected to my vein and made another incision a few inches below my collar bone where he inserted the port. The entire surgery lasted about 45 minutes. When they were done, one of the nurses had me sit up and asked how I felt. I said I was a bit tired but OK. He handed me my bag of clothes (I was dressed from the waist down) and led me to the dressing room to get changed. I put my shirt on and felt really woozy. When I came out of the dressing room I had to lean on the wall or I would fall down. The nurse led me back into the operating room and had me sit down. I remember saying I really need to lie down. The next thing I knew I woke up back on the operating table surrounded by 3 nurses. I'm pretty sure I said "I told you". So I laid there with my head below my feet for about 10 minutes before we tried the whole routine again. This time, I was wheeled to the car for my mom to worry about me passing out. I pretty much stayed on the couch for the rest of the evening and then went to bed. I feel fine today, except for the pain at the surgery site. I'm hoping by tomorrow it will pass.

In foob news, I've been waiting and wondering and watching for 7 weeks now. The big question has been "will the nipple survive?" Well I'm happy to report I finally have the answer to that question. And the answer is... sort of. Sort of because all of the tissue did not survive, so it's much smaller than my other nipple. In fact, it's more of a nubble than a nipple (you know, kind of a nub of a nipple). There's definitely something protruding where the nipple should be, so that is good news. And no Friends fans, a nubble is not the same thing as Chandlers's nubbin - refer to wikipedia if you are confused. So the foob continues to heal and hopefully yesterday's surgery will too. I'm attending a chemotherapy class tomorrow to learn more about what to expect and then Wednesday, June 23 is the big day when my treatment begins. Thank you for all of your notes of encouragement and your prayers!

Wig Shopping

Today was wig shopping day. I was so thankful Stephanie came with me! I learned about mono-filament wigs and lace cap wigs and lots of things I never wanted to know. The wigs are ordered in the style and color you choose, so my job today was to try on different styles and colors of wigs and make a decision. Then the store will combine the chosen style with the chosen color and will order my wig. Since there were no wigs that were as long as my hair in a similar color, I got to try on all sorts of hair! I've attached some photos so you can see how the appointment went and also some potential styles for next year when my hair starts to grow back in.

The 1st photo is a short bob. Too dark & too short for me but a cute cut for someone with more style than me. The 2nd photo is of the back of the 1st wig.

The 3rd wig is extremely short, but the color was good. I think this photo shows the color I ordered.

The last photo is kind of the style I selected. The one I ordered is about 4 inches longer, but a similar cut. It was the most similar to the style I have now.

The next step is to wait for the color/style combination wig to come in and to go try it on. Hopefully it will look good and I'll take it home. If not, it's back to the drawing board. Luckily I have about 4-5 weeks before my hair will fall out, so I have some time to play.

Or, I'll just wear my Chargers hat everywhere...

Foob Jealousy

I went to my 6-week post surgery appointment this afternoon and the doctor said everything looks great - let's expand it. I laid on my back on the table and she cleaned the foob with iodine, then felt around for the right place to inject the saline. I held a bag of saline (probably the size of a sandwich bag) which was connected to a tube and a syringe. The doctor inserted the needle into my foob and started filling it up. I didn't feel anything except pressure when the needle was inserted and when she was done my left breast was jealous of the foob. I can't think of something round between the size of a softball and a cantaloupe, but if I could, you could cut it in half and stick it on the table and get the right idea. Of course to get the full effect you can stick a raisin on top to represent the nipple scab that hasn't come off yet, but that may be crossing a line. Anyway, the foob healing is coming along, I'll get expanded again in about a month and can have my reconstruction surgery after the chemotherapy treatment. So hopefully by Christmas the girls will match.

I also met with my oncologist today. He said the bone scan and echocardiogram looked good. (By the way, an echocardiogram is my new favorite test. You just take a nap on your side under a warm blanket while the nice radiologist rubs warm goo on you. So relaxing.) He answered a bunch of my questions, so I'm feeling better about the chemo (knowledge is power!) I am scheduled to start June 23. He also got me set-up on an online system where I can log in and see my lab results and other medical info and email him or the nurses. Pretty cool stuff.

I also talked with 2 different clinical trial coordinators about their tests. One shuts off your ovaries for 5 years with a monthly injection to reduce the amount of estrogen in your body. There's no way I'm signing up for 60 injections, especially since I'm not convinced hormonal therapy helps the survival rate for triple positive cancer. The other tracks ovarian function through a blood test once every 3 - 6 months for 3 years. I might do that one. It won't help me at all, but the information could help younger women decide the right course of treatment if they want to have children after chemo.

So, pretty much good news from the medical professionals today. I'm excited to get started with the chemotherapy so I can put this whole cancer thing behind me.

Bone Scan

I didn't end up getting lectured by my doctor last week. He actually thought it was a good idea to get rid of as much of the outside stress as possible before starting chemotherapy. We discussed a schedule and decided I will start the 4 1/2 month chemotherapy treatment on June 23. It will be 6 rounds - one every 3 weeks. Before then there are a few tests I need to do. The first was a bone scan which I did today. I went to the radiology department at Thornton Hospital at noon and received an injection of some kind of dye in my arm. I didn't feel a thing! The needle guy and I got along since his birthday was the same as mine and we both expressed disappointment that the only famous person we share our day with is Ricky Schroeder. After the injection I was dismissed for 3 hours, so I came home and worked on golf tournament stuff. Then it was back to the hospital for the scan. I laid on my back on a very skinny table (I got to keep my clothes on). My birthday buddy strapped me to the table with a long velcro belt and rubber banded my feet together so I couldn't move. I had to stay perfectly still for 20 minutes. Well the more I thought about staying still the more I wanted to move. I developed a itch on my nose that got worse the more I thought about it. But I was a good girl and didn't move. The table I was on moved inside a big cylinder. I was just laying there wishing there was something to look at when I realized I was moving out of the machine very slowly. At first I wasn't even sure I was moving, but then slowly I noticed the lines on the top of the machine were in different places and eventually my head came out of the machine. There were photos of clouds on the ceiling so I spent the next 15 minutes visualizing shapes in the clouds. There was one shaped like a heart and another like a mean hippo with his mouth wide open to eat another cloud.

Tomorrow I have an echocardiogram. On Wednesday I have my second post-surgery appointment. On Friday I will learn about the port placement which will happen next week (basically they'll cut open my neck and insert a catheter into one of my veins, then cut open my chest and implant a chemo port and connect it to the vein catheter and then send me home to pretend like everything's fine) But that's a week away, so I'll worry about that later. I'm also going wig shopping on Friday! I already bought a few hats, a sequined scarf and extra long hat hair (a wig without a top that straps across your head that you wear under a hat). It's been fun playing so far, but it's not real yet...

On the foob front, I wore a bathing suit top in my backyard and it hid most of my scabbing/scarring. There is really no hiding the scars from the drains on my side in any bathing suit. I disobeyed doctor's orders and walked up the Torrey Pines hill and did the beach trail. I got my heart rate up and was all sweaty and was so happy to finally be moving! The doctor said to wait 6 weeks and I waited 5 weeks and 2 days. So sue me. I never claimed to be a good patient!