Wigs and Positive Imaging

I am 12 days into round 2 of chemotherapy and feeling great. Once I get through that first week, everything seems to be pretty close to normal. I've been running a few times, so I feel good about that. Days 10-14 are when my blood counts are at their lowest, so I'm the most susceptible to germs and getting sick. I've become slightly neurotic about anti-bacterial gel and hand washing, but I'd rather be neurotic than sick.

My hair is very thin and continuously falling out. I don't know if I'll end up completely bald, but it will definitely be close. I took my wigs (the girls) to my hair dresser on Friday and she lovingly spent more than 2 hours shaping them and thinning them out. They are so much easier to wear now! Plus I had a blast getting 4 haircuts in one afternoon. I wore the short blonde wig first and she didn't even recognize me. Once that one was fixed (bangs needed a trim) I took it off to put on the next one. She started laughing because she thought I was going to want to hide in the bathroom so no one would see my bald head. Me? Hide? No way! Especially when I can scare the hell out of the women sitting next to me who have no idea that my hair's about to come off. I saw some pretty surprised faces! Anyway, I now have 4 very wearable and more comfortable girls - all look very different - so I have to decide which person I'm going to be each morning. It's more fun than I thought wig wearing would be - although itchier too.

I am spending some time researching positive imaging. I've realized my brain is working against me to make me sick. For example, whenever I smell rubbing alcohol I feel nauseous. I also get nauseous when I look at my anti-nausea meds. Even on a day like today when I feel completely fine. If I look at the pill bottles, I have a negative physical reaction and have to put food in my stomach to stop the nausea. I know it's all in my head, but telling myself that doesn't make it not happen. So, I've decided that if my brain can make sick, than it surely can also make me well. I would like to learn how to look at a piece of cheesecake and feel instantly energized and healthy. Why not? Has anyone read the positive imaging book by Norman Peale? That seems to be the go-to positive imaging book and has good reviews. I'm going to grab a copy this week and start reading. I'm not good at sitting still or meditating, so I need to find a way to train my brain that will fit into my type-A world. If Pavlov can train dogs to do it, then I certainly am trainable!

Thanks for all of your support!