Chemotherapy & Herceptin

My appointment with the oncologist was moved up, so I met with Dr. Schwab at UCSD yesterday. I was expecting to hear that my diagnosis without chemo was an 80-90% survival rate and with chemo it would improve to 90-95%. I was expecting to learn about my options and be able to mull it over and make a choice about what to do. Instead I learned that my cancer is HER-2 positive, which means it is very aggressive and that without chemo I am facing a 50% chance of cancer recurring within the next few years. The oncologist said this type of cancer commonly recurs in the brain or bones. With chemo the chance of the cancer returning is reduced to 10-15%. Hearing that I have a 50% of getting brain cancer within 3-5 years scared the crap out of me. And lucky me, the cancer is also ER positive (estrogen receptive) so I would also need to do hormone treatment to reduce the amount of estrogen in my body. Only 10% of cancer is both HER-2 and ER positive. Lucky me! I am sending my pathology report to at least one more oncologist for a second opinion, but am feeling pretty pessimistic. The remainder of my appointment was spent discussing the type of chemo that is best for me, side effects of the drugs, and resources available at UCSD. The doctor recommended I take Herceptin - a drug for HER-2 positive cancer. This is given intravenously every 3 weeks for a year. I would have a port placed under my skin where the drug would be administered. Then there are 2 types of chemo that would work for me. One is 8 rounds (every 3 weeks for 24 weeks) and easier to tolerate. The other is 6 rounds (every 3 weeks for 18 weeks) but harder to tolerate. Both are aggressive drugs with the usual side effects including hair loss.

It's a lot to deal with right now. I've gone from believing I'm 100% cancer free to hearing a 50% chance of fatal cancer. The doctor said this type of cancer would have killed me 10 years ago. It's so weird to think how someone who hasn't even had a cavity can receive this diagnosis. So I'm worried (it's what I do...) I'm worried about how the kids will react, how I'll be able to take care of the kids if (when) I'm sick from chemo, what I'll look like bald, if I can handle starting school in Sept, how I can get a job, and if I can make all the home Chargers games (priorities people!) Suddenly the size of the scars from my surgery doesn't seem like such a big deal. And my reconstruction is postponed until after the chemotherapy. My poor kids - most are embarrassed that their mom wears dorky jeans - mine have a bald, lopsided, dorky jean wearing mother. I know I've often commented on the pride I take in embarrassing my boys, but I'm going to stop the uncool good-bye kisses and public singing until this is done to save them some dignity.

Next steps? Well, I've cried more in the past 2 days than I have in a long time, so I'm hoping that's over. I need to talk with the the 2nd oncologist before anything else. Assuming this diagnosis and treatment is correct, I'll need to have a bone scan, a few heart tests, have a port for the drugs implanted, be fitted for a wig and meet with a UCSD social worker before the chemo starts. I'll be spending a significant amount of time at UCSD over the next few weeks.

On a positive note, my last drain will be removed on Monday - 18 days of drain wearing will be complete!